Contact Information:

Jason Best, LCSW

Email
JasonBestLCSW@gmail.com

Phone
847-271-1222

Address
4753 N. Broadway Suite 608
Chicago, IL 60640

Tuesday
Feb172015

Building better relationships through friendship and intimacy.

Most people coming into counseling for relationship issues say some version of the same thing:

"I think it was good once, but lately we're stressed, or living parallel lives, or fight all the time. The things that made us feel close and passionate with each other are breaking down and we don't know how to fix them."

 Occasionally these breakdowns are related to true irreconcilable differences, but more often the couple has just fallen out of the habit of being friends and lovers. It's easy to happen; it is the nature of people to understimate their advantages, and when something is working well there's a tendency of it to fall into the background, unseen until there's a major issue. It's not uncommon that sometimes people come into therapy with literally years worth of issues that were never addressed because things were working "well enough." That is, they were working well enough until they blew up or began to feel like an insurmountable distance settling into the relationship. 

The good news is that the skills for reconnecting are often times fairly simple to learn. Most couples want very much to be closer together, to feel the love and passion and closeness of being in a relationship with their best friend- they just don't know how to do it. Learning how to bring up an issue without sending your partner on the defensive, how to validate your partner and make them feel heard even in the middle of an argument, and how to respectfully disagree and hold onto the boundaries you need to set, and how to mindfully cherish the relationship long term...these can all be taught in a relatively short period of time.  With practice these skill can form the bedrock for a new and better way of being close. 

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